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On wombats, wookiees and other bad ideas
The school board of my high school, named after a former president of the United States, voted unanimously this week to change its name. I don’t live in that city and I wasn’t there for the vote, but I heard the decision was remotely related to slavery.
Moments after the vote I received a text from an old high school buddy who lives in another part of the state. He said he would initiate a grassroots movement to rename the high school after me, which, of course, struck me as a brilliant idea.
I learned a few days later that my daughter, who lives in the town where I attended high school, wrote the school board to recommend it rename the school after her father. This is the same daughter who wouldn’t dance with her father or hold his hand at the skating rink when she was 12 years old.
But alas, a high school named after me is not to be. It appears my old school district has decided that going forward no schools will be named after people.
My hopes were dashed, but I should have known.
Modern public education has developed under the leadership of the revolutionaries of the ’60s and early ’70s, which gave us university co-ed dorms, on campus coffee bars, rock-climbing walls, “safe spaces,” massive student debt and diversity coordinators, but not much education.
And most of the education that is dispensed these days is mediocre, therapeutic and thoroughly politicized. Our modern graduates can’t read English all that well, but they don’t let that get in the way of their ideas.
They have lots of ideas about any number of topics – the environment, politics, law enforcement, race relations, religion, war and peace. Mind you, they haven’t done anything; they haven’t built anything; they haven’t proven anything; they haven’t defended anything. But they have ideas about all of that.
The problem is their ideas are often outlandish and irrational. That’s why they must silence their critics rather than reasonably debating them on the basis of evidence.
The revolutionaries of the day have no reasonable defenses, and if the modern government leaders and educators in power were not themselves children of the ’60s, reason would have already prevailed in Portland and other cities in chaos.
But back to my high school and its new name. I have my own ideas.
How about we name the high school “Patrick the Wombat High School”? Patrick is the world’s oldest wombat alive today. He is famous and very modern. He has a large following on Facebook.
I’m not sure Patrick will be acceptable, however, since he was orphaned as a young joey and raised entirely thereafter by human caregivers. That might be just a little too close a connection with people for my old school board.
Then what about “Chewbacca the Wookiee High School”? You don’t get much more non-human and modern than that. The school could build on the “Star Wars” theme and become the first totally technologically futuristic high school.
All communication in the high school could be by social media and answers to tests could be by tweet. And, heck, we wouldn’t even need tests. Grades could be dispensed on how many friends a student has on Facebook, by how many likes a student can get for a posting a personal idea, opinion or feeling.
And the possibilities for intimidating opposing sports teams are off the charts. What school will want to compete against the Wookiees? We could make a school fight song out of the famous “Star Wars” dialogue between Han Solo and C-3PO:
Han: “Let him have it. It’s not wise to upset a Wookiee,”
C-3PO: “But sir, nobody worries about upsetting a droid.”
Han: “That’s because droids don’t pull people’s arms out of their sockets when they lose. Wookiees are known to do that.”
C-3PO: “I see your point sir. I suggest a new strategy, Artoo. Let the Wookiee win.”
I could really get into supporting an alma mater like that.
But if none of this catches the fancy of my high school’s board, there are still lots of non-person options – like elves, fairies, mutants or other such nonhuman characters.
I guess the point of all this – if there is one – is that, while all people are worthy of respect, all ideas are not. Some ideas are unsupportable by reason. Those aren’t worthy of belief or respect.
Other ideas are so bad, they are worthy only of ridicule. These are the ideas that would be laughable – if anyone was listening and they had not garnered such widespread support among the poorly educated, over-degreed, elites of the day.
But I feel better knowing no one really did this to us. I think we did it to ourselves. Email Green at [email protected]
© 2020 Bruce W. Green